what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

Can you see this brett? Connor

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

That's Racist

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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