as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Does this napkin chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops