Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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PENlS.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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women playing football?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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