*you're

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Woman's rights.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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