Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

Women's football

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

Black Veil Brides.

Nah

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

Penis-Pump

That didn't hurt.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

Gadaffi

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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