Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Can I touch it?

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops