Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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4/20.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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The Holocaust.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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I am Skaldak!

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6

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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