Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +16

*you're

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops