One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Barack Obama

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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