What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

potatoes

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

Womens' rights.

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...