What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Women's rights...

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Vagina-Boob

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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