What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

Knock knock What

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

Homework.

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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