why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

math test 2=2

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

Canada

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

Your social life

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

Society.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...