- Anti Joke

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

Turn around.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.