Sit on Santas lap Boner

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

What's worse than death? Not a lot!

Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

What's White and can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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