I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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My mom.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Turn around.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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