Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

K

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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