What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

if u have a problem with this then comment !!!!!!!!!!!

whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Knock knock Who's there My dick

Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

What is Earth made out of? Earth

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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