A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

Gabe Mercado

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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