What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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