A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Sonic

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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