How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

Knock knock What

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Turn around.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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