Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Hi Jacob You cool

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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c+t+c?

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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