Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Hellen Keller

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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