Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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who eats pencils asians

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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