What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the jokes are repetitive on this site

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops