Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Matty B

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Jake Bowar

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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ugh good riddance

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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no

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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