Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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potatoes

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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boobs

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops