Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

thumb_up thumb_down

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

thumb_up thumb_down

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

Flab

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops