What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

A seal walks into a club.

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

SC Johnson a Family Company

Blarg

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

Do you need any assistance?

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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