Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

My mom.

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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