Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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poop

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops