Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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4/20.

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a atheist and a christian walk into a bar, they are good friends and enjoy their conversations.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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The Holocaust.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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