What is brown and sticky? Poop

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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1234 5

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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