How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

69

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

what is big and white? the moon

Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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