Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Turn around.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops