What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Boobs are nasty!

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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baby loves lalma

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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