Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

Christopher Walken to a bar.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

potatoes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

boobs

What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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