- Anti Joke

You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

a show horse jumps over a bar

whats funny? ebola and 911

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Don't think of granny porn

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

Not as much as a psychopath, I mean I feel sick as hell and getting out of here would be a welcome change, I am simply pissed, I mean not even Major Dumbass here deserves half the treatment Nero underwent, but lets put that away. Yeah you have been told where we are at huh? I can come get you, I have not changed much, except I might not exactly be much of a good shoulder to cry on, but I suppose it will do if you want, since I know you, I am the least of a merc you will find around, besides you know, I did always remind you and myself of your old man, sorry I just left, I am sure you understand its not fun to play second banana... Well not that you and him apparently, nor you and me, okay never mind about that, I just welcome a change of pace that`s all, I mean one thing is killing some assholes, another thing is this torture thing, but I wont stop my men, and a certain twisted woman from doing what they obviously love, as you might have read beforehand, it could come most useful. If it is worth something, I cant even stare at these things, but I wont lie, I ordered it. Lookie at me, trying to sound nice and pleasant around you, listen I appreciate if I can come pick you up myself, I might not be much of a listener nor all that, but I need to at least find out if I am truly becoming a psychopath here, if I am, I am pretty much screwed. I mean we are all angry here, but yeah. Sorry to say you have to decipher the codes in order to contact us in the future trough our little system, (procedure safety protocols and such yadayada) but I can get someone to pick you up during the next seven hours or so, and I am seriously and honestly not in the mood for anything... Fancy, so I suggest a hotel room or something, as I know that little shack of you is neither safe nor pleasant (which makes it the perfect hiding place ironically, I wish that damn mastermind was alive today, Nero would have changed the world without it even knowing it given the chance (not saying he did not but you know) I wont lie, I am kinda nervous seeing you again, then again I just threw up for the last time. Since there is no coding here whatsoever, its just what it says, I suggest that you do not respond if there is no problem if I pick you up, and believe me, you do not want to wait here, I mean it is my deal to supervise all of this, but if nothing else, let me come get you since I am not exactly proving to be much of a leader when it comes to this torture thing (clean shot to the head is more my style apparently) and well, what can I say, I am hungry and the food dont stay down here so I cannot wait to find a good excuse to get the hell out of here. Sorry, chatting almost as much as your late old man (he was always better at mindfuck and cracking jokes while dodging gunfire though, fearless bastard), seven hours, I need my 3 hours after all of this, and since you are quite beautiful and I have had to see a completely new side of some of my "men" today i think it is definitively better that I get you in person just in case. (actually our "lady" here, is the worst sadist but you get my point). Who and what is this Metal Gear Solid btw? I always told your old man that playing videogames rather than practicing would get him killed some day, but hell, I think I am joking, the man had so high fever they had to go get a thermometer which could register higher degrees of cold and then heat, and as far as we got from our point, he fought like a true soldier, and then the damn Spetz brought on their Nazi brothers keeping us occupied. Did I mention that General Dumbass here was the one supposed to lead the charge? I told your late old man that he should wait, but Nero rarely got that cold stare man, its as if he told me right there and then "You know that son of a bitch is never going to turn up", honestly I would have gone in there first if I could, but Nero well, while we have no idea how he was standing (he kept having trouble distinguishing reality from fever stuff) I honestly think he knew he was going to die anyway, because these bastard doctors apparently told us he was going to be fine when he was alive, then changed their story, I hope you do not mind we killed em all, had they been honest, maybe Nero would have stayed home, yeah we all know that is a lie, on the bright side Nero knew he was a goner, your bio-dad wrote the last words for him, and yeah, Nero charged forward before the old reaper could get him. I need to get sleep first, I am dead tired which would leave me chatting ten times as much and as fast as I am typing. Seth Nothing Never knew my parents, was raised by my older sister which for some reason refused to tell me my real or last name, and I thought that would make me a sissy... Well compared to some here I am.

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

Period Blood

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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