Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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democracy

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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