How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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9/11

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Your mother is a man.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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