Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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MICHAEL

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Blarg

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Your mother is a man.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Is this a chair?

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Hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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