What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Your mom

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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