Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

42

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops