I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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"Up to 50% off."

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Your mother is a man.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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