Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Women's sports

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Romney 2012

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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