Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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