The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Nobody cares.

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

save water shower with friends

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Du bist mein Kampf

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

Whats 9 + 10? 19

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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