Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Whats9+10 19

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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