Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops