SC Johnson a Family Company

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

Chuck Norris.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

Enchilada

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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