my mom raped yerr foot

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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