Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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i love huge wieners.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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