Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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the WNBA

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops